Week 1 was a little rough, but I definitely did not expect some of the hurdles I encountered. I went into this thinking the eating would be hard and the exercise would be easy and I was right on both accounts, however not in the way I expected. Sticking to my diet and eating healthy foods has not been a problem. At night, around 8ish though, is when the cravings for junk food and ice cream start. Those have been difficult. I can usually get through it by going to bed early or distracting myself somehow. My problem actually has been eating ENOUGH calories. Not too many. I seem to have lost my appetite almost completely and for several days I had a 800+ calorie surplus. Which I know is not good, but the desperate fat girl in me is elated. However, I will not let desperation and fear keep me from doing this the right way. I have done more research into lunch and snacks so I can meet my calorie goal every day.
Working out was pretty rough for 2 days last week. In fact, I didn’t at all for 2 days. But after the first day, I realized I cannot beat myself up about it, because if I do, I’ll quit. I was far too sore the first day and just plain tired the second day, but I made up for it the rest of the week. Sunday was supposed to be my “rest” day, but instead I walked 2 miles at a decent pace with the baby while Josh jogged ahead. Saturday I walked, emphasis on walked, the Double Tree stairs and damn it felt good. Josh’s brother Shane came with us too and he surprised the CRAP out of me. He has cerebral palsey and walks with significant difficulty although he doesn’t need the aid of crutches or anything else. He walked the entire 14 floors of those stairs once, and then made it up to the 6th floor the second time! He wants to come with us every weekend we do the stairs and I couldn’t be prouder of him! I walked them once and then stretched out, did the bottom stairs several more times and then did 50 jumping jacks. MyFitnessPal says I burned 717 calories that day. I’ll take it. 😀 All in all it was a long, stressful, hungry and sore week but I’m so fucking proud of myself I can’t even stand it. 😀 I am, however, still dismayed by what I see in the mirror. It’s probably the one thing that drags my motivation down above anything else. Even though it’s only been a week, I feel AMAZING. I feel less tired, I have more energy, and I just feel CLEANER inside. Then I walk by a mirror and reality comes rushing back. Yesterday while walking I felt young and fit and sexy and then I looked down and saw my big ol gut was still jumbling around in front of me. I know it will take time, I just cannot wait for my outside to match my inside.
Going forward into week 2, I’m going to try much harder to stick to my calorie intake (which I have lowered back down to 1400) and I’m going to start over my Body Revolution. She has her program structured like P90X, certain DVD’s on certain days, and since last week was a little rough and I didn’t do it how I should have, I’m going to start over this week. Who knows, maybe it’ll be easier. Maybe it’ll be harder, ha! Let’s hope not!
I’m 2 lbs closer to healthy!
Motivational Reason #236: So people won’t look at me and automatically think I’m lazy because I’m fat.